The Weekly 2000 AD Prog #2413: Merry Drokking Christmas, It’s The Festive Prog

Taking a look inside the UK’s greatest sci-fi comic, the Galaxy’s Greatest… it’s the Weekly 2000 AD.

It’s Christmas. You might have noticed. And that means 100 pages of 2000 AD before Christmas before it takes a couple of weeks off for the holidays.

Inside, there’s complete tales for Judge Dredd, Strontium Dog, Rogue Trooper, Azimuth, and a particularly daft Future Shock. Then there’s the new stories that will run into 2025 – Fiends of the Western Front, Portals & Black Goo, and Hawk the Slayer, continuing the saga from both the 1980 movie and the 2023 Garth Ennis and Henry Flint sequel. There’s a Thistlebone prose story putting those Yuletide chills down the spine, and the continuing (and absolutely magnificent) adventures of Cyd in The Out, one of the best strips I’ve ever read in 2000 AD.

Yes, a great 100 pages to see out the year, all under a cover by Andy Clarke…

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2000 AD Prog #2413 is out in the UK on 18 December in the UK. If you’re in the Americas or anywhere else the Prog’s sold, the release date’s not quite as fixed… the best thing to do is head to your local comic shop and get them to order it in for you. Trust me, it’s worth it.

So, onwards and upwards, let’s show you what’s happening in the big, big end of year show…

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JUDGE DREDD: LIFE LESSONS – by Ken Niemand and David Roach, colours by Chris Blythe, letters by Annie Parkhouse.

A one-off Dredd for Christmas, with Dredd being about as Christmas-spirited as you’d expect – rousting the homeless on a freezing cold Christmas morning. Yeah, it’s no wonder that Musk fella thinks he’s a hero.

But that’s just the opener, the scene setter. And as it’s Christmas, why not something of a ghost story – ghosts of Christmas past and all that?

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So, we’re in a world of strange, call it a temporal anomaly if you want, call it a Christmas ghost story, but whatever you call it, it’s still got Judge Dredd of now in contact with Cadet Dredd of way back then. Yep, the joy of the world of Dredd, everything’s possible, no matter how weird, as long as it works… and with Niemand writing it, this works. A modern take on the mystery of Christmas, a time of year where all things are possible, because why the hell not.

And all this done with the art of Roach, classic look of Dredd and his world, always a damn fine artist doing a damn fine thing on this Dredd. Yes, Niemand and Roach give us this weird little Dickensian moment of ghosts of the past meeting ghosts of the future, Mega-City style and it’s rather good.

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FIENDS OF THE WESTERN FRONT: WILDE WEST – PART 1 – by Ian Edginton and Tiernen Trevallion, letters by Jim Campbell

We might have first met the vampire Constanta in WWII, as his nightmarish platoon of bloodsuckers cut a bloody swathe through the battlefields of Russia. But a vampire who’s lived for centuries has a long, long history of death and devastation – which is why we’re here in North America in the late nineteenth century.

But it’s certainly not just Constanta, as there’s a certain Mr Oscar Wilde out west as well, via a circuitous route following his release from Reading Gael. It all begins intriguingly in 1977 with the fallout from the Baker Street Lloyds Bank raid – and just as an aside, Edginton already has form with Holmes in Stickleback, is the Baker Street mention just a cute drop-in or could our ageless vampire have met the great detective? Just a thought.

Okay, back to where we are – the bank raid reveals one unusual item, a Mr Bunbury’s safety deposit box. Yep, Bunbury as in The Importance of Being Earnest, and paperwork from the box in the hand of the playwright. So far, so intriguing. But there’s a lot more in this – Wilde’s writing about his adventures in America, adventures with Constanta, after he finds his gift of the ‘sight’ from the fey folk means he sees beyond the human forms of monsters, and now he’s on the run from a fallen angel, something which brings him into contact with Constanta.

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It’s an odd team-up for sure, but it’s a fascinating one, Edginton building on all that he’s already added to this simple yet brilliant concept, all beautifully done in gorgeous tones and perfectly picked colours by Trevallion, all the better to highlight the formerly angelic now walking amongst humanity and on the trail of both Wilde and his newfound vampire acquaintance.

A really great start, full of so many fascinating touches, everything you could want from an opener.

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PORTALS & BLACK GOO: A QUORUM OF FIENDS – PART 1 – by John Tomlinson and Eoin Coveney, colours by Jim Boswell, letters by Simon Bowland

In a near, near future where the gig economy is out of control, Kroy Plemons is a rider for Deliveroo – the food service to the creatures of magic and myth. When we first met Kroy, we raced along on an adventure full of strange things that were as likely to eat the delivery guy as they were what they’d ordered.

Now, time for another trip into the world of Portals & Black Goo, where London is in the grip of unrest… something we saw at the end of the first, really enjoyable series, as there’s a growing backlash against all those supernatural, as seen in the election ads for Tommy Willard all the way through this one. All the charm and grace of those vicious and little politicians who pick on the outsiders and the outcast of society. Yep, political satire, always something 2000 AD does so very well.

Anyway, as Kroy heads out on another Deliveroo stop, there’s a snafu, a lightning bolt hitting the Deliveroo drop store sending him someplace else, where there’s another alternative Kroy, this one riding for Deliverance, showing us the real horrors of just how these supernatural fast food providers get their wares.

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It takes a bit of doing, but once Kory’s out and back in his world, it’s off to see his vampire friend, currently doing something bad with an ex, an ex who was the one that turned her in the first place, but who’s now lost the whole immortal thing… another plot thread we’ll be pulling on in episodes to come no doubt.

And then there’s the final page… where the supernatural nighttime world is leeching out into the world of humanity and daylight. Oh yes, there’s a hell of a lot of things going on in Portals & Black Goo, all of which is just alluded to here, but done so in such a way that grabs you, drags you into the world Tomlinson and Coveney have created here, something fascinating, darkly comic, and just really readable.

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THISTLEBONE: THE EEL OF HARROWVALE POND – by TC Eglington and Simon Davis

A little Thistlebone interlude now, playing on the mysteries and the darkness we’ve seen in all the brilliant folk horror series Eglington and Davis have given us so far.

It’s a classic little folk tale, full of the ancient weirdness and nightmarish ideas we’ve come to expect. There’s an eel at large, ’as old as time and as sly as old Nick himself,’ a thing that can grant wishes ‘to those who dared ask.’

One of those wishes comes from a young maiden, desperate for children. But some wishes come with a heavy price.

Dark, creepy, folk horror done perfectly by Eglington and Davis, a short little tale to send that delightful shiver down your spine.

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AZIMUTH: SANTA’S LITTLE HELPERS – by Dan Abnett and Tazio Bettin. Colours by Matt Soffe, letters by Jim Campbell

When we last saw the mystery world of the data-driven metropolis of Azimuth, some sort of sanctuary from the world of Downlode and its AI overlord, Suzi Nine was in a world between worlds and Dexter and Anderson (is she really THE Judge Anderson of Mega-City One? – just one of the many questions posed by Azimuth) are hunting for her.

But whilst all that’s happening, Azimuth is at war – the Overnauts continuing their devastation of Azimuth’s domains, with the resistance led by Santa Claws – yet another great Abnett play on words, his work’s full of them, and the great dialogue, plus the brilliant storytelling.

Yep, war in Azimuth, with Dexter thrown into it, the legend of him being both ‘The Stranger’ and ‘The Fabled Basilisk’ preceding him. But all Dexter and ‘Andi’ are just using this particular war as a distraction to getting them to the desolate domain of Shadowban, where they’re thinking Suzi-Nine is to be found. Of course, they’ve no idea she used a magical room key to get into a place between the domains. How? Well, that’s just another question left unanswered by Azimuth. Likewise, the whole Overnauts thing – is it just a way that Downlode’s rogue AI is pushing into Azimuth? Again, you see what I mean about Azimuth being all about the questions?

As for the Santa reference in the title? Well…

 

It’s so mysterious, so many questions left unanswered, something that could have been so frustrating but, given the way Abnett and Bettin do this so wonderfully well, it’s nothing but fascinating.

We leave this one with Dexter and ‘Andi’, dying from the telepathic noise of Azimuth, head into Shadowban, hunting for Suzi-Nine and answers to what the hell’s going on – as are we. But the thing is, all these questions just add to the brilliance of Azimuth, a series that’s breathed new life into the world of Sinister Dexter and leaves us all wanting more, more, more. We’ll get more in 2025, and it’s going to be so good.

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ROGUE TROOPER: HOLIDAY IN THE HOTZONE – by Karl Stock and Ilias Kyriazis, letters by Simon Bowland

So, we’ve just ended the second Ennis/Bowland Rogue Trooper series last Prog, where things went very serious and dark, all the horrors of war and how the loss of a generation of genetic infantrymen would affect those left behind. But now we’re into another aspect of Rogue Trooper, the moments between the serious stuff.

And in ‘Holiday in the Sun’ we get a moment of ridiculousness on Nu Earth, where there’s a tourist party visiting the most dangerous place in the universe – because there’s always a few morons out there wanting to have the real experience of a war zone.

It’s a Rogue Trooper thing that’s pure daftness, the whole dumb tourists holidaying in a war zone thing that Stock plays both for laughs and satire all the way through, these dumb as rocks tourists the worst examples of the sorts of Z-list celebs you find on whatever reality garbage populates your screens right now, all of them getting a close-up look at what a real war zone looks like.

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Yet it’s also a real damn fine Rogue Trooper action thing, with Kyriazis absolutely doing things so well to show off all the kinetic action of Rogue.

Yes, completely different from the seriousness of the Rogue we’ve seen recently in Rogue, but also doing the whole, ‘he’s a bloody impressive warrior’ thing. All out action, ridiculous satire, one of those Rogue tales out of time, just a fabulous bit of Rogue being Rogue. It’s all a bit good.

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THE OUT – BOOK FOUR – PART 13 – by Dan Abnett and Mark Harrison. Letters by Simon Bowland

Well, the only strip here that’s carrying on here – and since it’s the greatest thing I’ve read in 2000 AD, I’m absolutely not complaining.

Last episode we had a newly reinvigorated Cyd, fresh from a moment of wonder with whatever the hell that edifice sticking out through a rupture in the fabric of space. It’s been quite a while since she’s had that wonder, the wonder that came from being out here, doing what she did.

So, of course the universe has conspired to come knocking on her door to screw things up again. The knocking on the door came from Grobb, whose wife’s gone missing. And now, thanks to a little arm twisting by Chieftain Redbladder, she’s in the people finding business.

Okay, so not so much arm twisting, more out and out threats. See Cyd, that’s what happens when you go around saying you’re a member of the Cartel. Now you’re onboard the luxury cruise liner the Momodorpho, home to over three million holiday makers on a six month cruise. And one stowaway doing her best to blend in. And you’re looking for Grobb’s wife – she’s got to do it or Redbladder will be “lethally displeased.”

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It’s an obvious way to push things along to the next bit of the story – but whether this latest twist is a part of some bigger picture or just an excuse to put her into another weird and wonderful place just doesn’t matter, it’s just fabulous to see. Case in point, the Momodorpho and the way Abnett and Harrison just fill the pages with ideas about it, like the idea of the recreation decks to create projections of all the vacation spots the cruise is headed to – after all, it’s just too damn big a thing to shift three million guests planetside. Just a perfect solution, fabulous ideas, full of amazing imagery.

But there you have it – fabulous ideas full of amazing imagery really does sum up The Out so well.

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HAWK THE SLAYER: THE LAST OF HER KIND – PART 1 – by Alec Worley and Simon Coleby, colours by Gary Caldwell, letters by Annie Parkhouse

You should all know the story – the movie’s one of those cult classics that should be on anyone’s watch list after all.

Now, in the aftermath of the events of the Garth Ennis and Henry Flint’s 2023 sequel to the film, Hawk and his friends, including Elfin bowman Crow and warrior woman Bella, are watching the spread of the Black Wizards’ influence, years after Hawk defeated his evil brother Voltan. There’s dark magic on the rise and more dangerous creatures are on the prowl and on the hunt.

Armed with his famous Mindsword, Hawk’s new job is keeping the peace in this world.

That’s the setup here, and just like that we’re into a weird place for 2000 AD, into a sword and sorcery world. Sure, there’s been sword and sorcery in the past, most notably Sláine, but there hasn’t been for a long time. Even that Ennis/Flint version of Hawk had its own comic. But the joy of the Prog is that it’s an anthology that can genuinely fit all sorts of strips, so there’s really no problem having this in here.

Especially when Worley and Coleby do such a fine, fine job of it. Coleby’s art is, as you’d expect, just great – all the requisite darkness of the story is here, all the swords, all the sorcery, all really well illustrated. And Worley’s obviously got form with the whole sword and sorcery thing – you have read his Black Beth, haven’t you? Oh, you should, it’s really damn good sword and sorcery. It’s also all the evidence you need to know he’s going to do Hawk just damn fine.

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Here it’s all intro, but it’s a really well done intro, the dark forces gathering, magical things doing magical things, and Hawk being Hawk, heroic, getting involved in something bigger, something involving the Lady Morlaine, cruel ruler of Valensfort – oh, you know that’s going to be trouble. So off he goes, to Valensfort and to the Lady Morlaine. You’ll be shouting ‘Don’t do it! It’s going to go very very bad!’ into your comic.

A great start to the next era of a classic bit of sword and sorcery. Go watch the film if you’ve never seen it, it’s everything you’d want. And then come back to enjoy these continuing adventures.

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FUTURE SHOCK: ‘TIS THE SEASON FOR TAKING! – by Rob Williams and Pye Parr

You better watch out, you better not cry,
You better not pout, I’m telling you why,
Santa Claus is coming to town…

He’s in hock to the mob, gotta pay it back,
He’s coming to yours, and filling his sack…

And that’s the idea behind this latest Future Shock from Williams and Parr, them behind the Image Comics series Petrol Head… you have got the collection of that, haven’t you?

Santa’s in trouble, having borrowed quite a bit of dosh over the years for all those toys and gifts he handed out, and, just for this year, he’s turning the tables and headed down to town to take some stuff instead of leaving it. This, as you’d expect, doesn’t exactly go down too well… and these folks are armed… very well armed.

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Thus, when Santa comes along on his rocket-powered sleigh and a very robo-Rudolph, it’s all out Christmas war… with a nightmarish twist.

What a perfect little seasonal delight from Williams and Parr, packed with Xmas horrors and ridiculousness. Brilliant stuff!

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STRONTIUM DOG: DOGHOUSE ROSES – by Garth Ennis and Henry Flint, letters by Rob Steen

More from Ennis and Flint, this time taking on the world of the Strontium Dogs, as we’re on board the Doghouse with investigative journo Scooper Smith and Lunk Lumsley for Milton Keynes Mutant Association.

It’s dumb, it’s silly, and it’s so much fun, the perfect Christmas delight to end the seasonal Prog. You get to see the Stix Brothers, Middenface McNulty, Spud Murphy, the Gronk, and Durham Red, all of them managing to botch attempts at an interview… particularly Red, who’s in a hungry mood.

But the very best bit comes with Johnny Alpha and Wulf headed back into the Doghouse with this particular tit…

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Oh yes, a certain Pharage, N. Absolutely nothing to do with Nigel Farage, man of the people (not), whose habit for hopping on whatever bandwagon he can to rile up folks in the UK basically led to Brexit and the chaos that’s come from that. With the latest election, he finally, disasterously managed to worm his way into parliament as an MP. God help us, people voted for him.

Anyway, Ennis and Henry absolutely viscerate him, quite rightly, as the Shit Tsar, who bought up all the water boards when he was running the old UK… the Thames Turdnami of ’29… brilliant.

Oh yes, a great end to it all. Thanks to Ennis and Flint for making this particular tour of the Doghouse so entertaining.