The Unbearable Waste Of Massive Talent — ‘Argylle’ Reviewed
by Tito W. James
Summary
Argylle‘s biggest mystery is how it’s able to waste the talent of some of the best actors and filmmakers working today.
Overall
2/10
Here at Comicon.com, I try to only review material I’m passionate about. As a result, I tend to give favorable reviews because I’d rather recommend something I like than rant about something I hate. However, there are cases when something is so disappointing I feel the need to speak up.
Argylle is the latest film from Matthew Vaughn, who has a strong track record with films like Kick-Ass, X-Men: First Class, and Kingsmen: The Secret Service. The film is advertised as a meta-modern spy adventure starring Henry Cavill and Dua Lipa with Bryan Cranston playing the villain. The plot has been kept under tight wraps and I won’t be going over any spoilers. With a strong track record for action blockbusters and a star-studded cast, what could possibly go wrong?
Well, a lot as it turns out.
Dua Lipa is used in all of the promotional material for the film, but only makes a brief cameo appearance and is never seen again. Cavill is not the lead action star. Instead, we follow a novelist (played by Bryce Dallas Howard) who’s being chaperoned by a hobo-looking secret agent.
The bait-and-switch of characters is to showcase how in the real world, spies wouldn’t look like attractive models — they’d look just like regular, un-glamorous folks. If you’re looking for femme fatales, fast cars, gadgets, death traps, and all of the fun spy shenanigans, look elsewhere. Yet the “real world” spy logic goes out the window as soon as the action starts.
Vaughn and “bad action sequence” should never be written in the same sentence. His previous track record speaks for itself and is still better than most superhero blockbusters. However, Vaughn has overused CGI to a cartoonish degree. I haven’t seen this big a downgrade of directorial skills since the Wachowskis made Speed Racer.
Argylle rehashes the worst parts of 1990s era James Bond; and the action sequences are reminiscent of Batman and Robin. The plot twists undermine any attachment we can feel for the characters and come across as bad soap opera. If you want plot twists done right, watch Believer. If you want kick-ass action that raises the bar, please watch Salaar. If you want to see Dua Lipa look hot in a dress, watch her music videos. If you want to see a spy story with bad CGI that looks like it was written by a ten-year-old, rewatch Spy Kids 2 (it has way more charm).
