Hear Me Out … You Really Need To Rewatch ‘The Final Destination’ (2009)

Welcome to Hear Me Out, a weekly series where Mal White suggests your next rewatch. Subscription services are cheaper than therapy, and since we all suffer from functional freeze, we might as well watch something.

In honor of the upcoming Final Destination: Bloodlines (2025) release, my friends and I decided to power through all five Final Destination movies. A classic franchise, Final Destination and its sequels single-handedly terrified an entire generation away from LASIK eye surgery and driving behind logging trucks. Fans watch for the elaborate deaths, Easter eggs, and how the next survivor will die. At this point, we can safely assume that Death gives premonitions just to spice things up.

But, hear me out, The Final Destination is the best installment. (Caution: spoilers below).

Death is known for doing the absolute most in the franchise. The Final Destination cranks its deaths up from extra to pure camp. So much so, I’m convinced Death is giggling and kicking their feet when the characters survive. While the rest of the franchise creates elaborate death sequences, The Final Destination is just here let loose and have fun.

The fourth movie on Death’s list, the 2009 film’s events follow a NASCAR-style race. While attending, Nick O’Bannon (Bobby Campo) has a haunting premonition that a car crash spreads into the stands, killing the surrounding spectators in wildly specific and explicit ways. Nick’s premonition comes true, but the lucky survivors are far from safe. Nick and girlfriend Lori (Shantel VanSanten) team up with track security guard George (Mykelti Williamson) to save as many survivors as they can.

As usual, we’re treated to our regular cast lineup: Team Premonition, The Friend, The Asshole, Obligatory Black Man, Hot Girl, and Cannon Fodder. We get the usual smaller premonitions that show how the next survivor dies. We get hints, call backs to previous movies, and trauma flashbacks to what we wore in the aughts (the bump-it Lori wears haunts me). None of these things matter. Not even the hints. They’re incidental. The real movie is about over-the-top deaths.

Death loves criminal negligence more than personal injury attorneys, but The Final Destination takes this to the next level. The race’s seating features zero buffer or slowdown. The seats are shielded by prayer and a chain link fence. So, when the big tragic crash occurs, a flaming car flies into the stands like a frisbee and explodes on impact. A motor squishes a woman. A whole motor. In a truly Looney Tunes inspired scene, a construction site stores a mountain of highly flammable barrels right on top of each other. If you guessed that it blows up, you’d be correct.

To make each death really pop, no one is human or has real human body parts. When a mechanic gets blown into a chain link fence, he comes apart Resident Evil style. An escalator turns Lori into Silly String. A medical bathtub falls onto a random survivor. He bursts. Like I said, we’re just here for a good time. We do get some great new things to be afraid of. Car washes, escalators, and construction workers.

Death by OSHA violation isn’t exactly new. Earlier installments at least attempted to convey their gruesome deaths as a complex chain of events with a ton of tension and a fun little twist. The hints and Easter eggs were a fun in-movie game. The series has immense rewatch appeal for its attention to detail.

The Final Destination looked at all of that, said “nah, we good.” What follows is campy horror at its finest. No elaborate tricks, lengthy build-ups, or misdirects. Just absolute mayhem. The only thing it asks of you is to enjoy it. And enjoy it you will.

Did I mention it’s in 3D?