Fantastic Four Week: Ranking Forgotten Members Of The Fantastic Four

Welcome to Doom’s table!

As the one known as Tony Thornley said in his Ranking of The Members of The Fantastic Four, “For a team of four heroes, the Fantastic Four has had a surprisingly deep roster.”

While he has taken a look at some of the more traditional and well-known members of that quixotic quartet, I am here to dive even deeper into the list of members who have called this laughably lauraled league their own and call out some of the most important members of the Fantastic Four he has forgotten.

9. Iceman

After bringing home a wayward Franklin Richards, Johnny Storm and Bobby Drake get into a bit of an argument where Bobby reminds Johnny that he was indeed, for a brief moment, a member of Marvel’s First Family. What compels me most about this is Iceman thinks it matters more that he was briefly part of the Fantastic Four and not that this party of Four somehow managed to defeat a Celestial-looking creature from another dimension in the streets of New York.  This poor priority has him at the lowest rank on my list.

8. Sleepwalker

Spider-Man, in possession of a cybernetic metal arm cast, teamed up with “The New Fantastic Four,” minus one knife-fisted Canadian, and add one strange nightmare policeman from the Mindscape dimension who goes by Sleepwalker. While not nearly as gruff and tumble, Sleepwalker did do his best to try and be a member of this team that was formed by a bunch of bumbling buffoons who were bamboozled by a Skrull, but in the end, he and his cohorts did not make much of a mark and never even got around to getting new costumes made.

7. The Hulk

Now I did mention Sleepwalker was on a team of “The New Fantastic Four,” so for those of you not in possession of my mighty mind and memory, another member of this foolish foursome (originally formed in a three issue Fantastic Four story from Walt Simonson and Art Adams) was none other than the gargantuan, gamma irradiated goon known as The Hulk. Fully deluded into thinking he is the strongest one there is, he also found himself caught in a chaotic crossfire by the Sinister Six during this doomed outing. No… to call it doomed would be to give it the name of greatness! This outing was foolish to say the least.

6. The Ghost Rider

While a mighty foe to be sure, the Ghost Rider traveled in this ill-fated collection of clumsy cohorts, riding alongside Peter Parker’s store-brand version of the Fantastic Four. The flames of hell and the penance stair seemed wasted on this particular team-up and spoke to the caliber of characters the Spirit of Vengeance would call comrades. When he is teamless, he ranks much higher on all lists, as where he rides, fools dare to follow!

5. Jack of Hearts

Yet another unexpected one of Reed’s recruits is the recently resurrected Jack of Hearts (who was also dating team stalwart fifth member She-Hulk). This mostly space-faring fellow in possession of “zero energy” was enlisted by Reed to join the Fantastic Four while they were fighting Reckoning during the appropriately named Reckoning War.

4. Namorita

Of course, when Reed is off putting his wife and best friend in danger, that leaves his hotheaded brother-in-law to form his own Fantastic Four. Of course, he recruits his on-again-off-again girlfriend, Namorita, to join his version of the  “Fantastic Four.”

3. Power Man AKA. Luke Cage

It would be a fool’s delight to omit a moment in history when the one known as Power Man joined Reed’s ragtag group. Luke Cage is added to the group when Ben Grimm loses his powers due to exposure to The Hulk’s gamma radiation. You see, the Fantastic Four has a charter that states that all of its members must have superpowers, and as Grimm was powerless at the time, Luke Cage stepped in to fill the strongman role.

2. Marvel Girl- Valeria von Doom

The child of Sue Storm and Victor von Doom from a timeline that makes more sense than one where Reed Richards is allowed to wander about, ignoring his family and putting all those who love him in danger. Valeria von Doom is as lovable as she is impulsive and strives to do right by her little big brother and her family. I frankly would have loved more of this delightful addition to the Doom bloodline.

1. Dr. Doom!

Yes! That is right! None of this baffonery would be possible without the mighty DOOM! Doom has shaped this family into who they are. You can’t have up without down, you can’t have left without right, you can’t have the Fantastic Four without Doom! Doom is clearly the most powerful one there is and should rank above all other members of the Fantastic Four!

Until next time, be warned, Tony, Doom does not take your forgetting of his greatness lightly. See, it does not happen again!