The Haunting Nature Of Grief: ‘My Dead Friend Zoe’ Reviewed
by Rachel Bellwoar
Twenty-six year old spoiler here, but when Bruce Willis was revealed to be a ghost in The Sixth Sense that was meant to be a pull-the-rug-out-from-under viewers moment. Kyle Hausmann-Stokes‘ My Dead Friend Zoe doesn’t want to lead viewers on at all. Starting with the title, there’s an expectation that Zoe (The Middleman‘s Natalie Morales) is going to be killed but Hausmann-Stokes doesn’t draw that reveal out either. Zoe is already dead when the film begins. For Merit (Star Trek: Discovery‘s Sonequa Martin-Green), though, it’s like Zoe hasn’t left at all. That’s why during her first group therapy session it looks like Zoe’s there. It quickly becomes clear that no one else in the room, including Merit’s counselor (Shawshank Redemption‘s Morgan Freeman), can see her but, for Merit, Zoe is a constant presence and it’s starting to affect her.
My Dead Friend Zoe is a film about PTSD – specifically, PTSD experienced by veterans returning home after their tours of duty. Merit and Zoe served in the army together, and while the circumstances around Zoe’s death aren’t immediately confirmed, Merit’s inability to talk about what happened and the toll it’s having on her life are the real focus of the movie. Group therapy wasn’t her idea – that was mandated after an accident at her warehouse job – but when her mom (ER’s Gloria Reuban) enlists her help in moving her grandpa (Knightriders‘ Ed Harris) to a retirement home, the one perk is it gives her an excuse to skip meetings.
During the closing credits and a fifteen-minute bonus featurette included on this Blu-ray, Hausmann-Stokes shares how much of Merit’s story is inspired by his own experiences in the army and losing friends like Zoe. Viewers are also made aware of how much of the cast was played by actual veterans – over 90%. It’s a film with a message that’s also extremely well-made and acted and Hausmann-Stokes’ passion for the project and going about it the right way (including directing viewers to three organizations that are working to help veterans readjust to civilian life and fight for stronger gun safety laws) is nothing short of admirable.
Perhaps most striking about this movie is its treatment of Zoe as this manifestation of grief and guilt. While the idea of being visited by a loved one whose passed on can sound appealing, the Zoe that Merit’s seeing isn’t really Zoe. She isn’t a ghost yet the film plays with these pop culture ideas around ghosts, as being friendly or what it means to be haunted. It’s a fearless performance by Morales, who could’ve held back or shied away from the cruelty of this character but it’s because she’s willing to show these aspects of this person who’s not-really Zoe but looks like her that the film is able to say something deeper about loss.
On the lighter side, Ghosts‘ Utkarsh Ambudkar deserves singling out for pulling off a very difficult tonal balance as a character who’s introduced as a possible love interest for Merit and could’ve felt forced. Instead the sensitivity of his performance makes their budding relationship feel fresh and warm and able to coexist with the other, more serious aspects of this movie. Harris is also great as Merit’s grandpa, who’s a veteran too, but whose views on what it means to cope are colored by how Vietnam War vets were treated when they returned home.
My Dead Friend Zoe is available on Blu-ray starting September 16th from Universal.