What We Would Keep And Change At The Disney Parks Part One: Keep

The Walt Disney Company has been going through a lot of changes. The appointment of new CEO Josh D’Amaro has already caused major waves throughout the world’s biggest entertainment company — from a complete restructure of the Parks & Experiences leadership team to sweeping layoffs that have hit every branch of the company, including Marvel Comics. 

Now, we’re not a business publication. We’re a bunch of geeks. I mean, I personally do have a very “business” position, but it’s not one that’s given me the vocabulary to talk about it at length. (However, if you want a good read about some of these business moves that’s a few years old but still relevant, check this piece out from our friends at ComicsXF.com.) But we are geeks of all sorts, and we can talk about what changes we don’t want to see happen.

Where that falls today is the Disney Parks, the division that’s seen the most change over the last decade. Whether it’s been the addition of new lands, replacing one IP with another, or even outright removing one “day one” Walt Disney World attraction, there’s been a lot of physical changes, and even more operational changes, such as removing the ultra-popular Fast Pass system and implementing the park reservation system.

Now, I’m a documented Disney Adult, so I’ve experienced a lot of those changes in real time. So in anticipation of a new wave of these changes, I talked through many of them with Editor-in-Chief Erik Amaya about what we do and don’t want to see changed in the Disney Parks under this new management team. Today, we’re talking about what needs to be left alone, while later this week, we’ll be talking about what needs to change.

So without further ado…

Cars Land

Say what you will about Disney/Pixar’s Cars franchise. Yes, they’re typically the weakest films of the Pixar canon. Yes, they definitely are the most “cash-grab” and toyetic of the studio (even more so than the actual franchise about toys ironically). But when it comes to the theme parks, leave Cars Land alone.

The land is perhaps the best themed and most immersive land in the theme park industry, period. It genuinely feels like walking through the town of Radiator Springs, and even better that means it feels like walking through a relic of the heyday of Route 66 as an American icon. Even better, the land’s E-ticket ride, Radiator Springs Racers, is simply one of the best theme park experiences out there, mixing nostalgia for America’s scenic backroads with a traditional theme park dark ride and a thrill ride.

The one caveat to this? If Disney can find a way to finally make Luigi’s Rollicking Roadsters (one of the land’s other two rides for younger visitors) actually work consistently — even if that means outright replacing it — please do.

And if you need more convincing, visit the land at dusk, right when the neon turns on, and the “Sha-boom” starts. It’s genuinely magical.

Rise of the Resistance

This one might be a little controversial as well, considering the feelings about the IP its based on, but simply put, Rise of the Resistance found at Star Wars: Galaxy’s Edge in Disneyland and Disney’s Hollywood Studios is the best ride at a theme park in the world. I will fight with anyone that says otherwise.

Set between the Star Wars: The Last Jedi and Star Wars:The Rise of Skywalker, Rise of the Resistance isn’t just a theme park ride. It’s a fifteen-to-twenty minute long experience. After queueing through a jungle base, riders are briefed by Daisy Ridley’s Rey that they’re joining the Resistance, but being ferried to a new location for their training. You’re then ushered onto a transport ship as Oscar Issac’s Poe Dameron preps his X-Wing to escort you. On that transport, you’re kidnapped by the First Order, and placed in a cell to prepare you for interrogation, but are then rescued by Resistance spies aboard the Star Destroyer.

It’s a genuine mini movie that you actually live through, and one of the most immersive experiences I’ve ever seen. Outside of maintaining some of the moving parts of the ride, such as the Kylo Ren audio animatronics and the turbolaser battery you pass under late in the ride, Disney just needs to leave it alone. It’s that good.

The Towers

At nearly every Disney resort, you’re going to see a large Tower overlooking one of the Parks, with screams coming from inside. In Disney’s California Adventure (Disneyland), it’s Guardians of the Galaxy Mission Breakout!; at Disney’s Hollywood Studios (Walt Disney World) and Disney Adventure World (Disneyland Paris), it’s the Twilight Zone Tower Of Terror; and at Tokyo DisneySea, the Tower of Terror, given the lack of the Twilight Zone’s pop culture cachet in Japan.

Collectively, despite the storyline differences, all four Towers have the same basic ride mechanism. You’re seat-belted into an elevator-like car, after which you’re launched and dropped through the ride’s storyline — whether it’s the Marvel-themed rescue of Star-Lord, Groot and company, the trip through the Twilight Zone via the Hollywood Tower Hotel’s haunted elevator, or the journey through Hotel Hightower’s cursed historical building.

And honestly, all four rides are perfect as-is. Disney has said that they would update Mission Breakout as the Guardians’ story progressed in the Marvel Cinematic Universe, but that has come and gone, and Groot has remained in his popular Baby Groot form from Guardians of the Galaxy Volume 2. So yes, Disney, just leave these alone. We’re good.

Disneyland’s Classics

There are some things that simply need to grow and change as pop culture and the Walt Disney Company as a whole evolves. And there are things that don’t.

While at Disneyland, a few attractions have evolved for the better, such as It’s A Small World adding Disney characters throughout and Pirates of the Caribbean making tweaks here and there to keep the ride more culturally aware and accurate, most just need to be left alone. And what’s that list?

Well, there’s Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride’s chaotic adventure literally to Hell and back. There’s The Haunted Mansion’s silly spooky fun, whose last couple changes may have been to its detriment. Peter Pan’s Flight recently removed a few racist caricatures and replaced them with more culturally accurate representations of its Native American characters, putting it in a position of near perfection. And Big Thunder Mountain Railroad is perfect as is. Outside of maintenance, please leave it alone.

The other Disney Parks also have versions of the same rides, and really they just need to be left alone too.

Soarin’ Over California

Soarin’ is rightfully one of Disney’s most beloved attractions. Whether it’s the narration from beloved actor, Disney Adult and flight attendant Patrick Warburton, or the massive Imax-like films, Soarin’ is a fantastic experience, and later this year, Disney will introduce the third film for the attraction, Soarin’ Over America, celebrating the 250th anniversary of the founding of the United States.

But we’re not talking about Soarin’. We’re talking about the Soarin’ Over California version of the attraction. While later in the week, we’ll talk about why Soarin’ is an attraction that needs to continue to evolve, Soarin’ Over California is perfect. We’re totally okay with the film rotating with one or both of the other versions of the ride at Disney’s California Adventure, the film itself, as well as its associated soundtrack and smells (IYKYK), needs to stay as-is. 

Actually one thing we’d change, instead of just having a limited 6-ish week springtime engagement every year, the film should be playing at least three to six months a year. It’s just that good.

What would you tell Disney to keep or leave alone? Sound off on our social media!